What week is this again?

Okay, I’ve been quite lax in keeping up on this blog this week–and there’s been so much I’ve wanted to share with you!!  I’ve been keeping incredibly busy with schoolwork (and when not doing that, going out on the town).  Last weekend, Sam and Louie took me out to an independent film afterparty (the Blackout Film Festival)–the food was great!  I was kind of disappointed I’d missed the films, as they were all responses to the current economic climate.  I heard many good things about it and look forward to perhaps finding the independent works online.

I can’t even remember much of what I’ve done since then–worked on my first collection for sketching class, done laundry, more schoolwork, school loan and accounts drama, fantasy-shopping for boots on ebay… all of it has been overshadowed by the reminder of a small obsession I acquired at eighteen on my first shopping trip to Toronto…

Cat had taken me to a store just south of TO’s Chinatown that sold mostly small designer goods and custom boots, where, incidentally, she bought me my very first designer piece–a gorgeous Diesel purse screened like an old dutch painting. I still have the purse.  Although this is not the point of my story.  There was along the wall a pair of boots that made my heart stop (this back before I cared ANYTHING AT ALL about footwear). They were a pretty, slim-fit pair of high wedge ankle boots–only they had cloven hooves at the toe box.  Be still, my beating heart!!!

They had been made in a limited edition by a custom bootmaker, and the biggest size left was an 8.5 (I remember that exactly because Cat is a 9 and they were too tight for her, too–I’ll admit, it would’ve broken my selfish heart if they had fit her and not me–I’m mature enough to admit it now).  The price tag was just under $2000, but I didn’t care (thank goodness they didn’t come in my size because I would’ve had them home without batting an eye!), I would’ve bought them anyway.  For weeks after, I obsessed over those boots and vowed that I would someday have my own pair.

Flash forward to about 3 years ago, wanting to be a circus pony for Halloween (think of the feather possibilities!), that I googled “horse costume.”  It was through an innocent google images search that I first stumbled upon “ponygirls.”  Now, if you don’t know what these are, do not, I repeat, do NOT google the term.  For the unsuspecting, it can be quite… er… surprising.  Pony people are part of a small, clandestine group of people who, shall we say, are quite enthralled with dressing up and acting like, well, ponies.  This is no innocent game of make-believe: it is a very adult sexual fetish…

And it… is… fascinating!! Grown men and women, full equine regalia!!  I tell you, those costumes are downright attractive!!  Although I’m really not interested in riding/being ridden by my mate while whinnying like a frisky filly, I love the idea of this fetish, and knew from that moment that I wouldn’t mind at least dressing up like one… for Halloween, of course.  And I also knew I could blow their existing costumes out of the water.  You think you’ve got gear?  HA!!  I’d have the best-dressed bronco in the barn!  Sadly, as so often happens, I ended up having to work a show that Halloween, and my best-laid costume aspirations fell by the wayside.

::Giggles:: Do you know where I’m going with this yet?

Carol put the bee in my bonnet with these...

Carol put the bee in my bonnet with these...

Early this week, Carol sent me a pic of an artist’s work she’d stumbled across while doing some wearable-art research–yup, you guessed it: hoofed shoes!  Now I don’t think these are actually wearable.  They’re really nowhere near as beautiful as the cloven-toed numbers I saw a decade ago. But darnit! I haven’t been able to get them out of my head all week! I’m dreaming about them, for heaven’s sake!  I’ve stayed up nights trying to find them online–I HAVE TO HAVE A PAIR OF THESE BOOTS!!!  I ended up finding teasing taglines–only to find them linked to blogs raving about “hoof” fashion boots.

These are quite lovely, to be sure, and I wouldn’t mind having a pair of them either, but I thought to myself, “Now why can’t I find some bloody HOOVES?!”

Mmm... the shape is just grand!

Mmm... the shape is just grand!

Then, I stumbled upon an enchanting blog entry singing the praises of so-and-so’s hoof boots, and how lovely they are, yada yada yada… same old, same old, but… hel-lo: end of the entry signed Mistress-somebody.  I had stumbled upon a ponygirls blog!  And they were discussing where to find the best hooves!! CRIPES!! Why hadn’t I put two and two together sooner?!!  It was brilliant in its simplicity!!  Find the most hard-core horsey-people in the world and ask them where they buy their feet!

There are no words for the sound I make when I see these boots... I'll take TWO, s'il vous plait!!

There are no words for the sound I make when I see these boots... I'll take TWO, s'il vous plait!!

Good Lord, now we’re cookin’ with gas!  Everyone had their own opinion of how they should be shod.  Among my favs were these hot numbers to the left… as you walk away (tail swishing provocatively, no doubt), you leave little horseshoe prints in the dirt!! HA!! GENIUS!! How do I love these, let me count the ways.  This is a prime example of fetish fashion going mainstream–Nina Ricci sent her models down the runway in these bad-boys a couple years ago.  Insanity.  I must have a pair!

Still, this is not what I’m looking for… what I want is a perfectly lovely, daytime pair of hooved ankle boots.  Enter youtube.com.  Somewhere somebody wanted to dress up as a faun, and abrakadabra, she made this inspiring video:


Watch it and be amazed!  What a great bloody idea!!  From a costumer’s perspective, think of all the possibilities!!  Bondo will be my new best friend!  I will take this woman’s technique and perfect it for my own needs.  In a few months time, I will have the perfect daytime hoofed wedge boot!  And it will fit me!!  The shape of the Antonio Berardi boots above, combined with the calf-hair idea of the artist’s statement shoes, plus a little tibetan lambswool, the perfect wedge base (which I’ve found on ebay), and the materials in this video all add up to one exciting craft week for me!

Would I ever wear these things out in public, you ask?  And I shall answer you…

Yes… oh yes… I will wear them every day it’s not raining…

Last night as I walked home from John H’s loft party, I stumbled across this display window from Macy’s:

Trapeze Night NYC 004

…and I took it as a sign from God.


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Email Me at StarsAndGartersWP@gmail.com
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