UNDERCITY

Anyone who’s owned a pet rat will be reminded of it when they watch this man effortlessly scaling walls and girders, and stealing lithely down into the dark, unknown to so many of us.  This video is sick.

Kinda makes me relieved I just moved to Wisconsin–knowing all that was below me in NYC (and was missing out on) would make me sick with curiosity, and it would only be a matter of time until I tried this myself…

Thank you, Andrew Wonder, for this fantastic video.  And thank you, Steve Duncan, for being the lunatic to show us the way. 

So you bought an "Alligator" Victorian bag on Ebay... What is it, really?

Just a little update for anyone looking to expand their knowledge of crocodilian skins…  I found this great mini-guide and had to share it:

\”Distinguishing Features of Crocodilian Leathers\”

Note these features on the head, especially:

Gator= 2-2-2 pattern of bumps

Caiman (often sold as alligator--don't be fooled!): 4-4-2 pattern of bumps

Croc= 4-2 pattern of bumps

There is often much confusion between alligator and caiman (as they are very closely related).  It’s important to remember that caiman is often sold as gator.  It’s dishonest, but very common.  Educate yourself and know what you’re buying.

Alligator is much more expensive, due to a few factors.  One, it is quite scarce in comparison to caiman.  Alligators can be farmed or caught wild (though there are only 30 days each year that they can be hunted legally).

Alligator hide is MUCH more supple than caiman–you can fold gator in half and there should not be any cracking along the fold (unless you suspect it’s a really old piece of skin and then you should maybe think about identifying it a different way–just a thought).  Caiman is more brittle, and little cracks will appear when you fold it.

Then there are the differences in belly tiles.  The photos on AlligatorFur.com are great references!

As always, look for the DPRs (or ISOs: different names/theories, but each amounting to the fact that you’re only gonna find those little holes on a croc).

For more help with other reptilians, you can find my exotic leathers study guide here.

No bad puns here, don't worry.

For those of us obsessed with Anthropologie’s killer cardigans, this is the site!  And score–for one month straight this woman is re-doing low-priced (or shop-your-closet) knits to look like their higher-priced counterparts.  She takes you through the process of re-sewing/embellishing each look, step by step.  Just look at this adorable Kate Spade look-alike!  Of course, copying designs for production is very, very wrong.  Personal use?  Bring it.

Thank you, Grosgrain, for the lovely inspiration!

So pretty!

How about I throw in some kittens too, just for good measure?

Aw, there, that's better, isn't it? Adopt a cat today from SPCA.org (Photo: LoveMeow.com)

But seriously.   …Seriously?

Seriously.  Adopt your animals from the SPCA, if you can.  These animals need homes desperately.  Supporting pet mills sucks.

And as for the unicorn?  New exhibit at the Ontario Science Center.  Looks like fun!  Cheers to good humor and different strokes.

Die Wolperdinger... in his natural habitat... an antiques shop.

Last night I went here.  By myself, if I might add, because I guess this does not sound so fun to most other people I know.  Boy, I’ll bet they’re sorry now.

First, Melissa Milgrom, author of Still Life: Adventures in Taxidermy (Ahem, this is on my Amazon wishlist!), began with her story of learning the craft (she mounted one squirrel, and decided that was enough).  She got to learn with the best of the best: the family who has long mounted exotic creatures for the Smithsonian.  Wow.  I don’t even dare to dream.  That’s like getting a private tutoring session with Dr. Bill Bass.

Phar Lap the famous racehorse was mounted by the Jonas Bros (no, not those Jonas Brothers). The musculature in this piece is absolutely incredible!

The contest was preceded with a presentation by Mike Zohn (of Discovery’s “Oddities” fame) on the history and modern revival of taxidermy.  My favorite part of his slideshow was a series of photos documenting the mounting of Phar Lap, the racehorse.  It was amazing to see how they articulated the skeleton, and then built up the musculature/soft tissue with other materials before finally covering it all with the hide (this is a must-do for anyone wanting their horse mounted, as the pre-fab horse forms out there pretty much suck).

Read the NY Times article about the contest here.

My favorite presenter of the night was one Beth Beverly, of Diamond Tooth Taxidermy.  Her first submission was “Elke,” the white Rat Terrier.  Resplendent she was, sitting on her emerald (and finely tasseled!) pillow.  Ms. Beverly told the story of a phone call early in the morning from a stranger… their dog had died… come pick it up.  Elke was Ms. Beverly’s first dog mount.  I think she did a lovely job–very glamourous!  I found it interesting, her take on mounting a pet.  I was touched at the thought and respect she spoke with for the creatures she works with, both wild and domestic.

This sensitivity was most-welcome, as the show had plenty of perversities to follow–from questionable irreverence to downright disrespect for the medium (only in my humble opinion, apparently, as the crowd seemed to love the idea of an ape made out of a whitetail’s rump or a “vortex” made of Grandma’s (yes, literally, Grandma’s) treasured silver fox, presented with utterly disinterested blasé–which I found offensive).

Ms. Beverly’s second submission was that of a young pullet, dressed as a virgin princess.  But my favorite thing was actually her hat–another chicken (this one red) posing daintily on her head.  Hot!

Takeshi Yamada stole the show with his shining personality and fabricated "alien" skulls. Not my thing, but very entertaining!

Her blog is also something to check out.  It’s got a lot of good technical info on taxidermy, great photos and, um… cooking tips?  I would probably not be so brave unless I killed the animal myself and knew how it died, but whatevs–props to her for her “no-waste” mindset, right?  Definitely!  Plus, I noticed that she, too, is looking to make a pair of shoes out of hooves (I TOLD you I was onto something… everyone’s starting to come around now…).

Walking his new friend home? Or just in time for dinner?

All in all, I preferred the presenters who brought forth actual learning opportunities or people who did the taxidermy themselves.  I was hoping for a more technical/scientific approach rather than the raucous, drunken free-for-all it spun into.  Too many people’s “stories” turned out to be just that–stories.  And I wanted the real background on things… not a Coney Island-esque sideshow.

Still, I’m glad I went… there were a lot of treasures to be seen (especially the two anthropomorphic fox cubs holding their little duckling friends–both found in Budapest–SO ADORABLE!).

Best wings in show. Note the fabric "feathers."

So… I just finished watching the 2010 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

…I would like to take a moment to say… “WTF?”

She did the best she could, poor thing. Wish I could've found a rear shot of this one!

It was awful! Where was the energy?  Where were the costumes?  WHO THE EFF DESIGNED THIS ONE?!  I mean, there’s always one or two weak links in the line-up of vignettes, but this year, there weren’t really ANY redeeming sets.  The models did the best they could, God bless ‘em.   Especially the poor girl who had to wear a giant stuffed soccer ball on her bum.  I mean… really.  Chanel Iman, sweet as ever, stole the show.  Akon was great (not like last year’s Black Eyed Peas who just seemed to get in the way).  Katy Perry was… meh.  Honestly, her discomfort was palpable, having to share the stage with some of the most beautiful women in the world.

Gorgeous girl. Alas, she couldn't save it.

…and what the heck was up with the WT hayride extravaganza?  Worst. set. ever.

I personally think VS should only have male musical guests to serenade the girls (although Fergie really held her own last year).  It doesn’t make sense any other way, really.  The whole point being the empowerment of the objectified women onstage–right?  I’m not being funny here, either.  I. LOVE. the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  It is my television event of the YEAR.  There is nothing wrong with a woman feeling sexy.  Nor is there anything wrong with what some might call her being “objectified.”

Speaking from personal experience, sometimes, as a woman, you don’t want to be seen as the person you are inside… you want

My fav dress of the night. And yes, I would actually wear it.

that reinforcement on the other side of the coin… you want to be seen as attractive on the outside, as well.   Ladies, there is NOTHING wrong with that.  We’ve been conditioned, growing up, to think that aspirations to being the most beautiful we can be are vain and superficial.  And by the very definition, they are superficial.  But that doesn’t have to be such a bad, bad thing (::laughs:: “That’s just something ugly people say.”).  It is NOT, lady, just what’s on the inside that counts.

There are times when all I want to be is “objectified.”  Because sometimes you don’t want to be the “smart” or “funny girl.”  You’d rather be beautiful, too.  If that’s all they see, then they’re not bothering to get to know you.  No big deal.  There are plenty of people who can look beyond that beautiful face in front of them (I know, it’s so hard sometimes) and learn to appreciate said body for ALL of its beautiful attributes–body and mind.  And there are plenty of people (mostly women) who will resent you for looking more than presentable.  No big deal on that end, either.  It is pure shallowness whether someone refuses to look inside you whether you’re too homely or too attractive.

So I shall leave you with an excerpt from a poem by Edgar Lee Masters that has always resonated with me:

Adriana Lima: knows exactly what to do.

Mrs. Williams

I was the milliner
Talked about, lied about,
Mother of Dora,
Whose strange disappearance
Was charged to her rearing.
My eye quick to beauty
Saw much beside ribbons
And buckles and feathers
And leghorns and felts,
To set off sweet faces,
And dark hair and gold.
One thing I will tell you
And one I will ask:
The stealers of husbands
Wear powder and trinkets,
And fashionable hats.
Wives, wear them yourselves.
Hats may make divorces –
They also prevent them.

One simple way to make your own:

Last night's trash becomes today's crafty treasure!

Remember that take-out container you brought home the other night?  The pad thai is long-gone, but that Number 6 plastic container can live on… give it a better life by turning it into custom jewelry tags or charms!

1.  Cut out the flat parts of the box on the top and bottom (I don’t have to tell you to clean it first, do I?  Of course not, you’re not my ex-suitemate!).

Color lightly on the sanded surface.

2.  Use some 300-400 grit sandpaper to roughen up one side of the plastic (move your sandpaper in little circles).  Then use a colored pencil to scrawl your signature, Etsy shop name, etc.  You don’t need to press hard at all.  In fact, the lighter you go, the better:  when the plastic shrinks, everything you drew on it will become extra dark.  If you like, you can print your name out in a nice font and then trace it.  You can also use a custom stamp you’ve carved or had made (use alcohol-based inks for best results).

Be sure to leave some room for a hole to attach a jump ring; a standard-sized hole punch works perfectly.  Once your hole has been punched and the final shape cut out around the text, it’s ready to shrink!

They'll twist and turn a little while. When they lie flat (or thereabouts) take them out.

3.  Line a pan with parchment paper and lay the piece on it.  Pop the piece in a preheated oven at around 350 degrees (anywhere between 300-350 degrees should be fine).  Watch it heat up–it will begin to undulate and shrink up.  After a couple of minutes it will stop moving and lay mostly flat.  At this point, you may remove it from the oven.  If it doesn’t lay completely flat, take a glass and press the piece down while it’s still warm.  Don’t use your fingers, as the plastic gets very hot.

4.  Once the piece has cooled, you may want to sand the edges with an emery board if they’re not completely smooth.  Seal the penciled side with a resin gloss spray.  It looks nicer, and it keeps your design from smearing if you penciled too deeply.  Add a jump link through the now-tiny punched hole.

***A trick for figuring out the final size:  On a scrap piece of plastic, trace a 6″ ruler and then shrink it.  Once it’s shrunk, you can tell what the size of your piece needs to be before shrinking.  For example, if you want the finished tag to be 1″ long, hold up the real ruler next to your shrunken one and see where the 1″ falls on the tiny one–the number on the tiny one is how long your plastic piece should be starting out.***

For an even fancier/standardized tag, purchase inkjet-printable shrink film (you CANNOT use recycled plastic here).  Create an image in Adobe or Paint with your name on it.  Think about the scale of the finished tag, and choose your font accordingly (*you want it to be readable once it’s shrunk to size).  DaFont.com is a nice place to download nice fonts for free.  You’ll also want to leave a blank area for the hole you’ll be punching for a jump link.  Copy your art and paste it as many times as you can within an 8.5″x11″ file (100-200 dpi–you may have to see what you like best after experimenting).  Try rotating your pieces to get as many on the page as possible (and don’t forget, each printer’s margins are different; try to account for that).

Once you’ve made a nice image, flatten it and take the opacity down to 25-40%, depending on how saturated your images are (this is to account for the darkening once the plastic is shrunk). You may have to experiment with each page to get a saturation you’re happy with.

Print it out on the inkjet shrink plastic (available here from DickBlick.com), making sure that you have “transparency film” selected in your printer’s paper output.  Cut out each individual piece, punch holes, bake and seal.  Cool, huh?

Now all you have to do is make a kick-ass piece of jewelry to go with your fabulous new tags! 

Very interested in checking this out... I really want one of these...

Sign up for emails/invites to interesting webinars like this at BerninaUSA.com.

Or click HERE for the 11-20-10, 10:00am CST (remember this is CENTRAL time)

HERE for the 11-20-10, 4:00pm CST webinar (remember this is CENTRAL time)

I have done one webinar before this.  It was about apparel-sewing shortcuts.  It was pretty good!  I learned a couple new things, and it would be excellent for people who are light sewers hoping to make more professional-looking garments.  I think the video archive is available somewhere on the website.  Don’t be dissuaded by the old-lady pattern looks they’re trying to market throughout the video–the techniques remain practical whether you’re interested in home sewing or high fashion.

As you probably know, I’ve recently been contemplating packing up and moving back home if I can’t find another job that will pay me enough to survive on.  Theatre work will keep me going, but I’ve been looking into other things as well… even thinking about starting my own business (NOT selling accessories, btw).  It may not be technology-based, but all the new tools out there sure have the old gears turning…

The thing is, the thought of having my own business kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies.  The US government is not set up to support small business development, and I’d always be terrified I’d lose everything if it failed.  I have hope, however, that the Obama administration might turn things a little more toward small business’ favor.  At least, I did, before the recent election…  Not to get political, but did you really think the “Change” you were hoping for would happen in TWO YEARS with a bipartisan government?  COME ON!

Sorry.  I just can’t help myself, you know that.

Not tonight, however…

Tonight?  I give you… (dun-da-da-DAH!!!)

Buffalo Carbonara!! (HOORAY!!!)

Directions:

In a large skillet, cook the bacon on medium heat until crispy (or not so crispy, I don’t care). In another pot, cook up the pasta according to directions. When bacon is cooked, transfer to a paper towel.  Do not empty the skillet of its lovely drippings.

Meanwhile, combine eggs, milk, gorgonzola and salt and pepper.  Beat ‘em all together.

Once the pasta is done, drain it.  Add just a little water to the skillet. Transfer as much as you can into the skillet and start stirring.  Slowly add the egg/milk mixture and fold into the pasta, keeping it moving so you don’t get glorified scrambled eggs at the bottom of the skillet.  Put the bacon back in too.  Once they’re well mixed, pour the whole thing back into the pasta pot and mix some more.

DONE!  Well, actually, I ended up microwaving a half-package of frozen peas for two minutes and adding that too… I feel guilty if I don’t have any veggies with it.

Very easy, and pretty darn good for a desperate dinner!  Could only be conceived by a Buffalonian.  :)